Everything else all i see is a role of the eyes or a sarcastic comment. Every conversation about work, friends , my day is cut off or not as important as what He has to say.
my only praise is during a scene. The more i try to more it hurts. The feeling of failure, the feeling that i embarrass Him, the feeling that He will find someone better.
As far as i am aware i am being the best i can be. i put more effort into trying to make him happy than i do in caring for myself and even sometimes my children. So therefore i am a failure as a mother too.
So all in all the only useful thing about me is my cunt.
Now this may not be entirely true but it is my 100% feelings. And how would i know better. No one, except my boss who is paid to tell me, says they're proud of me, happy to know me, am glad i am part of they're life. All i know is as much as i try i fail. What i do is never enough.
my father didn't want me but puts up with me and tries to fix me. i suppose that's what all men in my life will be.
Is it too much to ask for someone to listen to me, laugh at my jokes and when i'm being silly, tell me i've done a good job even if you feel it's insignificant. This isn't normal but as hard as i try i can't be normal.
i just want to be important to You. Humour me please. It will save me from wanting to attempt suicide ... again.
No comments:
Post a Comment