image by Meg Gaiger
one if my kinks is to be used ... with my Master in charge but not by just Him, with other men as well. Not totally strangers but people that He has checked out and feels are suitable for O/our situation and fantasies.
i truly fantasise about this a lot. Not all day everyday but random men i see i will look at and think of how much fun it would be for him and Sir to fuck me and play with me. W/we've had a couple of threesomes now with men (well three to be exact) and fun with "the couple" even though that was always limited and i'm thinking about it a bit more regularly. Maybe because it's been a while. Maybe because thee last threesome was very enjoyable. Not really sure.
Sir has been attempting to show me off again. He had me on cam in a chat room on Sunday playing for a room of basically just men and i forgot how much of a turn on it is. W/we ran chat rooms for a whole years ago full of masterbaters and voyuers. i would play and show off but it became a chore and W/we gave it up.
Sir has told me He has fantasies of letting other men fuck me. It seems the more He divulges the dirtier my fantasies get. Like He's letting me come out more and embrace the fact that i am a slut!
This word doesn't hurt me, to be honest i am proud of my sexuality and i am HIS slut. For His pleasure to use me how He chooses. That's my purpose and i feel complete when i am servicing Him. The fact He wants to share me makes it more fun. i feel proud that He wants to share me and show me off. But there's the dark side.
Over the years of religion, people's misconceptions and all the other bullshit in this world, in the back of my mind as much as i enjoy being a slut i still have feelings of shame. Women have be told for so long that their sexuality needs to be withheld and hidden. More and more are we able to live as ourselves and being happy fucking who ever we want whenever we want but that shame is still there.
It's causing me to self destruct. During play and sex i am proud to be a slut. i want to be used i want to be fucked. Sex to me is fun. Making love with Sir is a completely different story but having Him fuck me and treat me like a dirty slut is one of my biggest turn ons. But then, after the fact, my head implodes. i'm a whore, i'm disgusting. This isn't normal. No one else is like this. Why am i so dirty?
i wish i could turn these feelings off i wish I didn't care but people of the world, mainly religious biggots have pounded the shaming of sexually active women for centuries. Why can't i fuck who Sir wants when He or i and oh He or i want. Why do i have to feel this shame. I am not "religious". My people, pagans, revealed in being sexually active. Sex held such an importance in our lifestyle and beliefs. Why can't I remember that it's ok. It's about pleasure and keeping Master happy.
Thanks to this world i am ashamed to be a slut. i hate my body because it's not how everyone else's is. All i see in the mirror is a fat dirty whore.
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