only a dream

When i was younger marriage meant nothing to me. my parents split up when I was in high school, most of my friends parents were split up too. So in my opinion, it was a waste of time. 

As i grew up i viewed it as just a piece I paper. my daughters father asked me to marry him after 4 years. i didn't know how to take it. We'd fought all day. Then he asked me by giving the ring to my baby daughter. i think i was happy. i really don't know. 

Now, the older i get, the more i want it. i don't want to be 40 and unmarried. But Sir doesn't seem to want it at all. It's been nearly 9 years. And yes we've had some major issues. And I suppose we still do. 

i'm collared. And as off 2 days ago i'm now branded. But i'm still not whole. 

i want the big day, the party, the photos. Now. While i still have some looks. Before i successfully kill myself. 

It is my hope that he will commit to me. But maybe he's still looking for someone better.