train

she catches the train nearly every day to work. Forty minutes on one switch 3 minutes on the other one. Not a long trip. But enough time for her mind to wander. Mostly corporate people in the morning. Because she finishes work early mostly family type people in the afternoon. Or tourists going to the coast. Sometimes she reads, sometimes she facebooks, sometimes she listens to music, sometimes she takes photos out he window. On a good day if she's had enough time in the morning she can look quite presentable. But even without makeup she's not ugly. There's always a few strangers who's glimpses she catches. Usually they look away straight away but sometimes a braver person will hold eye contact. She's kind of shy so she's usually the one to look away first. On the days where she's made an effort she finds even women may look a little but longer than than just a passing glimpse. She wonders if hey are bisexual like her or maybe jealous because she is pretty. She's not skinny. A little bit overweight but not fat. She has curves and to her an ok body. Something to work with. She'd like to be skinny again. But she's sort of happy. However she knows she's pretty and with makeup on a lot of people with look as she walks by to sit down. 

Some days she'll hold eye contact for as long as possible. Showing the corporate men in the morning she can hold her own. Other times she'll be demure. Flicker looks at people. Watch them through her eyelashes. There's two types of corporate men. The ones who like the demure little "secretary" and ones who blush when eye contact is held. We're all dominant or submissive. You can switch but you're never just in the middle. The submissive corporate men don't really interest her. They are fun to mess with but wouldn't be one to flirt with. The dominant types get her. Like her master they hold eye contact until she looks away. Sometimes their stare can bore into her. It doesn't have the warmth that her master has. The depth if emotion. But it does have the sexual burning. She wonders what they're thinking. She's not the normal type of girl they would like. She's not a size 8 tall and young. But there's something about her. She seems untamed. She is a bit lost. Maybe they want to help her find something. She looks naughty too. Maybe she needs a spanking. 

The whole time these thoughts of what these men are thinking roll through her imagination she thinks of her master. What if he was one of these men. She wouldn't be able to control herself with him. These men may hold her attention for a second or two but it always goes back to her master. He is her fantasies. These men could be in them too but he would be there orchestrating the whole thing. Her master has fantasies too. To watch and see if one of he corporate strangers would ever reach out. She's fallen asleep on the train. Her blouse fell open and he could see her bare breast. Would he touch it. It scares her how her master thinks about this. It's exciting but she doesn't want the stranger.  She wants her master to be the stranger. Or at lease know that there is no variable. His fantasy seems to lack the control she needs. It's that control that let's her release herself. Give everything to him. She wants to work with his fantasies but she's worried. There's too many issues that could arise from the stranger experience. Lack of control and no direction is something she has to deal with when he's not around. There's constant chaos in her head. When she's with her master it's his control that keeps her alive. His control helps her to relax and open herself to be pleasured by pleasing him. 

The train play, she thinks, may be good if her master was the stranger. A role play. Or even if he found someone to play he stranger role too. Knowing it's a game is exciting. A complete stranger might not understand the game. She doesn't want to feel lost. Especially when her master is there. She thinks she can do his fantasy. But for now, only if master plays the stranger role. It's too scary for her now and she isn't strong enough. She knows he will be there. She knows if it got out of hand he can handle it. But it's the chaos she can't handle. Not right now.