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I read your blog, and feels like the most important aspect of the relation, which is the power to make u continue serving your master is not there.... which is to care about u, your needs and u as a person.
I have this example which I always say, the slave is like the car I have, if I fail to take care of my car by putting fuel or changing oil, it will for sure stop me somewhere in the road..... and the slave is the same, sure the master needs are more important, but the slave needs has to be taken care of.
I have this example which I always say, the slave is like the car I have, if I fail to take care of my car by putting fuel or changing oil, it will for sure stop me somewhere in the road..... and the slave is the same, sure the master needs are more important, but the slave needs has to be taken care of.
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After reading the above post I might now have a clue on why Sir may seem miffed at times.
i'm not reiterating my mental health in this post. i don't feel the need to. But i will hope people who read my blog understand the basics of bipolar and borderline personality disorder with some respect.
i also know there's those who have the view of;
"If they have mental health problems stay away from them they shouldn't be in the BDSM community"
If you are one of these judgemental arseholes i suggest you get the fuck off my blog!
Sir and i have been together for coming up nine years. The isn't a faze. We aren't doing it because 50 Shades of Grey came out. To be honest i haven't even read the bile. We both want to explore this lifestyle as it IS helping us grow as a couple. Our boundaries are very different than most, and so they should be. Our boundaries get blurred at times but that's pretty normal. But sometimes my reactions are not.
These times, yes, i am WAY more needed. i will want to hear "I love you", "you're beautiful" and more at least fifty times in 5 minutes. Sometimes Sir does this for me when he knows i genuinely need it. Other times He knows i'm just in a fucked up head space.
Do i wish He would say it more. Tell me that He wants me, that He needs me. Yeah, i do. But i also need to realize that sometimes He's just not that kind of guy. Here's one of his boundaries! And i'm working on it.
During a scene Sir is what i need. The second i hit subspace He is there. He is my warm blanket, my soothing cream on a raw arse. i know how confusing i am and i know he does everything within his knowledge to keep me safe, from myself.
Because i am the one hurting myself!
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