i know work is more important and missing my wednesday isn't a big deal. But having no plans, no future dates, nothing to loook forward to ... i suppose that's why i'm so sad
i've been losing it the last few weeks and this helps me to get it together
He knows that
the last scene/play we organised was with our new sub/babygirl and she had to cancel it due to "womens reasons" which is fair enough ... but i didn't get anything ... it just all went down the drain
W/we had a massive fight on the weekend. i told Him i'm having trouble and He said He knew and He could see it. Yet i still miss out on O/our time.
i've asked for this. Due to my mental health according to Him i have to ask or tell Him. i made a silly comment and tried to hint that i needed some time and He didn't get it.
i'm guessing He doesn't realise how much i need our time ... i've told Him i miss Him ... i'm guessing He doesn't understand by "missing Him" it's meaning W/we haven't had any real connection lately
Don't get me wrong sex is still great but there's no TIME ... no U/us time
i don't know if He's punishing me ... which i have tried to explain withholding scenes and play makes me worse
The chaos is my head is overwhelming and the scenes and play times are the one thing that stop some of the noise.
What am i doing wrong??? i do everything i can for Him. i try my hardest to please Him. i'm getting nothing to help me
i'm lost ... why don't you want me
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