thank you Sir for the wonderful night

i already knew he wanted me last night. He asked on the phone if I wanted to be sodomised. I didn't know how to answer. Too embarrassed to say yes, not wanted to say no just in case it upset him. After a shit weekend He seemed to love me again. Things were back to sort of normal. Nothing is never normal with U/us.

As always i got engrossed in some work i was doing and silly conversations on Facebook. He turned my chair around. i heard him behind me setting up but was scared to acknowledge it. I didn't want to fuck it up again. As He turned around i knew He was already there. That look.  He was going to give me what i deserved. Mischief across His face. One of my biggest turn ons is knowing He's up to something. Not sure how long He'd planned this one. But i was so apprehensive because of the failure of our last session. The mistake of expecting something when it's not me who is in control. Last night was His. His session. His game. His ideas.

i hate my body. Most women do. It's not entirely disgusting but when you know immaculate looking women and you've had kids and you're in your mid thirties. Well, you're not the most attractive person reflecting back at you when you stand in front of a mirror naked noticing all the horrid flaws. He doesn't care. The only thing He hates about my body is my scars. Self inflicted punishment from losing control. And considering some new scars barely days old the last thing I want to do is be naked around Him. But that's not my choice. He stripped me, walked me to the bench rubbed me over like I was new to him. Taking my body in and then poured oil all over my tits. He made me rub my body with Him. i hate the feel of my stomach. Flabby from being a bit overweight and having two children. my horrible huge thighs and bumpy lumpy body. But He doesn't hate it. He wants me to enjoy it but i can't. But again i can feel relief that He enjoys me. No matter what i see in the mirror.

This was blantantky obvious when i turned round to His erection. i love His cock. It doesn't lie to me. Not saying He does but there's always self doubt that His compliments are just sweet words.  Then, He took control. Everything i screamed and yelled about on Saturday when i told Him everything was wrong He did. He forced me on His cock. Pushing it down my throat so i gagged. Pushed me on the table and forced himself into me. Spanked me until i had tears and spanked me for a reason. Because i had failed me. Not Him. Sucked my clit until i came with such force my head spun. He fucked me to subspace. my head rolling back and forth while he pounded me drifting in and out.

Anal is something i want to more of and He loves it. But after kids well everything's not perfect there either. He tried to enter me but it hurt so bad. i wanted Him in me so bad i asked for the plug to get ready for Him. He fucked me with the plug in. But i wanted Him in my arse. Finally He pulled out and entered me. There's still pain but nothing like before. i had stretched for Him. Having Him in my arse with my fingers in my pussy. Feeling him thrust into me. i had waves of orgasms. Not the clit explosions but the lovely warm spread over my body. i wanted Him to come so bad. i wanted to know i had pleased Him enough to release. As He did i shuddered. Filled with Him. Content.

But as usual my subspace hit panic. But He was there with me. Helped me through again.

It was a perfect night. He took me and used me. i couldn't ask for more. He said i pleased Him and i honestly feel i did.

As much as i hate Him when we fight i wish He would just fuck me to let out the frustration. But that's not Him. But He gives me what i need. i just need to learn patience.