Not to sure if He wants to. But there's little signs here and there that i think i have His "consent"
i am writing in my journal. Literally the basics. Gone right back to the beginning. i feel,that's where i belong right now. Even if W/we don't start this again, or at least not as it use to be, i know i have re-educated myself. There's already been things i have discovered about D/s relationships this time around that i wasn't fully aware of. And before i ask for Him to "take me back" i want to know as much as possible so i can offer Him my all.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like i didn't offer that before. Maybe i was just a little naive. Well, maybe more than a little. i know we struggle but my main reason for starting right back at the beginning is so i can understand His struggles. Not just mine. Not just voicing my own. i think maybe He is having trouble telling me how He feels. Or maybe He feels restricted. Or maybe i asked for too much.
He doesn't know i'm starting again. i haven't told Him yet. He did give me a "gift" and asked me to wear it when i want something. His offer was it could be anything from doing the dishes, going to dinner, or a full scene. i don't think he would of offered it to me if He didn't want to start again as well. It's not something i can wear that people will see. It's very personal and i was so overjoyed that He did. After what's gone on it was a brave move on His behalf and i am so grateful.
Maybe this weekend i will present for Him. Maybe. If i've learnt enought by then.
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