haven't posted ... no real reason why ... no real reason to i suppose
things were pretty good then last night because of tiredness or god knows what i was completely ignored ... yet i asked that emotional punishment is not something that happens and it is the ONLY thing i can not deal with
but hey who the fuck cares about my feelings anyway
doesn't really matter ... i'll be left emotionally scarred and to everyone else it will be forgotten ... as always
but i had a dream this morning ... pretty dirty fun dream ... yet i have no one to share it with ... no one to talk to as emotions are being with-held ... pushed aside instead of working through it
it was a dream about a club ... playing dress-ups ... and playing in general
meeting women in the scene and having girlfriends to chat to and help me then i was off to "play the part"
i can't tell Him about this ... not because i'm embarrassed but because i am hurt
so i'll push my dream aside as You push my emotions aside ... and i'll ignore it
because i'm sure i won't have any friends like in my dream
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