jealous

i know there's no real reason for me to be jealous.  But sometimes you can't shake that feeling.  It's eating me away.  Cutting me into little pieces that i don't want to be.  i made it clear that it's not my business and i thought i didn't really care.  i suppose i do!

we had a play with the couple again.  Can't remember how long ago.  Maybe a few weeks, but not ages. miss amy who i now have named my kitty was, as always, great fun to play with.  we played a silly sex game from Sir's ipad which broke the ice well.  Had a couple of drinks and it was literally just play.  kitty and i played. Then got fucked by our own partners.  Not a big deal.  i'm kinda of glad it was relatively vanilla.  Good for a change of pace.

kitty and i go to the gym together which is great.  Gives us time to talk.  About girly shit, about the boys, about life in general and pretty much me teasing the shit out of her.  we had a text conversation where i made her masturbate twice.  i found that amusing and a turn on knowing that she would do what i told her to.  The switch role with her comes easy, maybe a bit to easy.

So when she told me they were planning on hooking up with another couple i was taken back a bit.  i was proud of her.  Getting out there was a big step so i thought that was great.  i also know Sir and i aren't easily accessible so it was good they went and played.  They now had some experience so it wasn't going to be too scary.  we talked about it at the gym.  i gave her any advice i had.  They are our first couple.  Not our first 3sums and she wasn't my first girl but i felt comfortable she wasn't going to be in any harm.

i texted her the day after.  Asked how it was.  i felt quite proud that she had gone out and done it.  she replied with "good" or "fun" i can't remember.  The next line was "she was a squirter".  That got a giggle.  But the thing that cut,  AND IT SHOULDN'T, was it was Him (kitties partner) who found out this.  He has gone down on her.

Now i bet you're sitting there asking why on earth that would annoy me.  Well, the most He ever did was get a handful of boob.  He got head off me, He watches me fuck his wife.  But he never touched me.  Never made a move.  Never did anything really.  So where does that leave me.  Does He find me repulsive?  Does he find me intimidating?  Is He scared to do anything to me?  Is He worried about her reaction or Sir's reaction.  WHY AM I FAILING?

Sir told me i'm being silly.  kitty is definitely attracted to me i know that so i shouldn't worry.  But it's just me!  i was to be involved, i want to make everyone happy, 

i don't want to be left out